All Change Please

Many of us have experienced being on a bus or train or plane which we boarded because it was going to a particular destination, which was either our final destination or en-route our desired destination.   

Partway into the journey we are told the bus or train or plane can no longer continue to that destination, for whatever reason, and everyone is expected to disembark and find an alternative means of getting to their desired destination.

Sometimes the alternative is provided, sometimes not. More often than not the change comes with an adverse impact on our time and our resources, both financial and otherwise, and bucketloads of inconvenience.

Our typical response when this happens is to rant. I certainly do so and do not mince words while expressing my displeasure, sometimes using words that are against my personal principles.

But what I don’t do is refuse to get off the bus, train or coach; because whether I like it or not, or whether I accept it or not, that bus or train or plane is no longer capable of getting me to my destination. So while ranting and expressing my displeasure, at the same time I am already looking for alternative options; because though that path or route may no longer be valid, my destination still is and I must keep going anyway and anyhow possible until I get there.

Of course there are occasions when a mishap on our journey may cause us to rethink the entire journey; but once the conclusion is reached that the destination remains valid, then we must find a way to proceed.

So why do we not respond the same way when life throws curve balls at us and causes or forces us to make a change? Why do we stay stuck, immobile and refuse to see that change is required and we must make that change because quite frankly that is the only option available to us?

So many of us are stuck in things, in  situations and in experiences that are at a dead end. Though we had intended that those things or situations or experiences will take us to a desired destination, for whatever reason something has changed and that thing or situation or experience is no longer capable of getting us to our desired destination. 

But rather than read the situation and make the required change to get us back on track, we stay stuck. Like remaining on the platform of a train we’ve been told is not going any further, or in the lounge of a plane that has been grounded. No matter how long we stay there, the outcome will not change. We might as well have boarded a bus or train or plane that is going nowhere. 

By all means rant and vent if that helps you express your displeasure and get things off your chest, but most importantly get back on track. Get back on a route or a path that gets you to your destination because though you may have lost time, though it may cost a bit more physically, mentally, psychologically and financially, when you get to your destination it’ll be all worth it.

May God bless us all.

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Doing Life Alone.

 

Photo credit: Anthony Tran on Unsplash.

Not everyone who is alone is lonely, some have chosen to be alone and would have it no other way. But when it’s a state that you have not necessarily chosen for yourself or would not like to be in, it is a struggle. A BIG ONE.

Loneliness is a war, one of many fought in the battle of life. It is intense in its relentlessness. It seeks to draw you into its abyss and if you allow it to succeed, it’ll chew you up and spit your carcass out. 

I wish at this point I could give a ‘formula’, something ‘magical’ that you could do to miraculously make the feeling disappear. But I do not know of any, don’t even know if any such thing exists. 

All I know is that when loneliness comes knocking and seeks to pull me into its abyss, I fight against it with everything I’ve got. I refuse to let it get the better of me, to pull me down, to faze me or wear me out. I fight to pull myself up and out because I believe that it is a phase. And with all phases, it too shall pass.

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Keep Focus

                                   
On the 10th December 2016, the Catholic Church of Divine Mercy hosted an unusual praise concert. I do not have the statistics but I believe well over 5000 people attended. It was an all night open air concert. Mid way into the concert, rain started to fall. This is rain in December when harmattan was supposed to be out in full force. It wasn't expected, and so no provision had been made for it.

When the rain started, some people left the concert; some to their homes, others to their cars and others to look for shelter away from the rain. People also started to make comments. Those who had opposed the concert were happy that the rains had come to disrupt the program. They felt that that was a sign that the concert didn't have 'God's stamp of approval'. Some people felt if God really approved, then the rains should not have come.

To these people I present the gospel passage of today (Friday 13th January), Mark 2:1-12, the passage on the healing of the paralytic. In this passage a paralytic on a stretcher was brought to Jesus for healing. However there was such a great crowd around Jesus, that they were unable to reach him. Undeterred, they went up to the roof of the house, removed the roof over where Jesus lay and lowered the paralytic before Jesus.

Commenting on this at mass today, the priest of Sacred Heart Catholic Church Henleaze Bristol asked us to imagine if this was happening in our time. How many people in church, listening to the word of God will remain if it appeared as if the roof was coming off? We can't even bear to withstand heat, cold, sun or rain let alone caving roofs. Imagine if the friends of the paralytic did not go up on the roof, or if the crowds around Jesus took off once they saw that the roof was being tampered with, the paralytic would not have been healed, and the crowds would have missed the chance to witness this miracle. But they were focused on Jesus and the words he spoke, so nothing else mattered.

Jesus never promised us that serving him will be free of obstacles; rather he expects us to remain steadfast even in the midst of the obstacles. Today we are reminded to keep focus on Jesus. Let nothing distract us, be it rain or sun, cold or heat, blizzard or hail storm. When we keep focus on Jesus, we are nourished by his word, we are recipients of his miracles and we become witnesses of his word and work.

May God bless us all and give us the grace to remain focused.

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The 'elusiveness' of Contentment

How many of us have ever experienced the feeling of contentment? The feeling that we are totally satisfied, not missing anything, not lacking anything?

Or are we more familiar with the feeling of discontent? Always wanting something more, craving and desiring that which we do not have and which makes us restless?

Can we identify with these feelings?

The discontent that comes with the feeling that our spouse or partner can do better; love us better, treat us better, earn a little more, provide for our needs better, be more attentive to our needs and desires.

Perhaps the dissatisfaction is caused by our kids; for sure they can be better behaved, or do so much better in school and play a little less.

Perhaps it's with our appearance; we could do with looking a little fuller and more voluptuous; or lose the baby fat and look slimmer and fitter.

Or perhaps we need just that latest gadget or accessory that gives us that extra swag and makes us look suave amongst our friends and associates. Or we just need a new toy to play with.

I could go on and on and quite frankly the examples are innumerable.

Some of us try to fill that void in several ways but usually with the aim of finding a substitute or a replacement for that 'deficit'.

So if our partner is not meeting up to expectations, we find a substitute, a replacement or back-up.

In the case of our kids, we 'shape' them into the image we have of them.

As for our bodies, we force them into submission using all means at our disposal from drastic 'diets' to strenuous exercises.

And as for gadgets, hmmm, we can do almost anything. From the orthodox to the unorthodox.

And if by a stroke of luck or fluke any of these measures should temporarily satisfy us, the feeling soon passes and we are back to square one.

My best friend says "There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every man which cannot be filled by any created thing, but by God alone. If we try to stuff anything into that God-shaped hole, we end up disappointed, dissatisfied, restless, discontent and unhappy."

I totally believe that because that's my story. Countless times I have been left desolate while trying to fill a void within me with people and/or objects.

However does that mean it's the case for every feeling of dissatisfaction we get? Not at all. Thomas Edison is quoted as saying "Discontent is the first necessity of progress" and Mahatma Gandhi goes further to say "Healthy discontent is the prelude to progress".

So even while I learn not to be in a hurry to stuff my vacuum with just anything, I invite all those who can identify with this to learn along with me. More importantly, to be able to tell when a feeling of discontent is healthy and when it is not.

However be sure of this, only God satisfies and satisfies completely.

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Created for A Purpose

Let me start by asking a few fundamental questions

1) who are you?
2) why are you here on earth?
3) what do you think is your purpose in life?

Before I put down my few words, I would just like to state that my objective in writing this is not to tell anyone what their individual purpose in life is, that is something you will need to discover yourselves. What I will try to do is give pointers, a direction to how one can discover that purpose; and when you have discovered it, what to do with it.

My pointers to help answer the questions above are as below:-

Who are you?
I am not an accident. None of us here, regardless of the circumstance of our birth, is an accident. We often here people say 'Oh, this child was not planned, or 'I got pregnant by accident, or 'it was a mistake'. Please let's all remove that from our heads and if you hear people saying that, correct them. No human being was created by accident. Isaiah 44:2 says 'I am The Lord who created you and formed you in the womb'. God has a hand in the forming of every single one of us in our mothers' wombs, there is no accident to it.

Why are you here on earth?
Your being here on earth is not about you. Put in another way, your purpose for being created is not about you. Colossians 1:16 says 'God created the whole universe through him and for him'. He made it all and he alone knows why he made us. So many times we spend so much time thinking about why we were created, we do not think to ask our creator, our father 'Lord, tell me why I am here on earth, the purpose for which I man created'. There is nothing we cannot ask of our Heavenly Father, even something as simple as 'Lord tell me what my purpose is on earth'.
Also 'Life is a trust and a test.' When I say life is a trust, I mean our lives have being given to us in trust. We do not own ourselves, God owns us and everything we have and are. But he has given it to us in trust that we might 'know him, love him and serve him in this life and be with him forever in the next - basic cathechism'. Gen 2:15 says 'The lord placed man in charge of the garden of Eden, to cultivate and guard it'. Our lives have been given to us on trust, our possessions have been given to us on trust, our talents have been given to us on trust. It is important that we realize this and make sure that we are using all these 'gifts' from God to know him, love him and serve him.
We should always remember there is more to life than just here and now. 1 John 2:17 'The world and it's desires are passing away, temporary, but whoever does the will of God lives forever. If we look around we see signs of people, places, things that have passed away. We read of structures coming down, tsunamis, floods, earthquakes, volcanoes that have wiped out communities, villages, cities. In our country especially in the east erosion has wiped out roads, houses in villages. Some of us here have lost loved ones who have passed for this life. We must never forget that this world is passing and we need to prepare for eternal life. That is one of the reasons God made us, to be with him forever. Our actions here on earth will determine that.

What do you think is your purpose in life?
Your purpose in life may not be disconnected with your natural talent. All of us, every single one of us, has been given a talent,  a gift by God. It is important that we discover what this talent is, and then use it to achieve your purpose. Often times we think our talent must be something 'big', unique, awe inspiring and out of this world.  This is not true. In most cases our talent is something 'little' which we may even tend to overlook but when well harnessed, can deliver much.

Let me give you a few examples we can relate with. I will cite some examples and you can judge yourselves if these people used their talent to achieve their purpose

- Queen Esther (beauty)
- Hitler (natural leader)
- Samson (strength)
- Chimamanda Adichie
- Martin Luther King (natural orator)
- Malala Yousafzai (academician)
- David (prowess)

In conclusion, I want to invite you all to think about your life, examine yourselves. A famous philosopher said 'Man know thyself' and 'an up examined life is not worth living'. No one can tell you your talent, that thing that will lead you to achieve your purpose. You are in the best position to know. The most important thing we must not forget is that knowing God, loving God and serving God is the main focus of your life and your purpose should lead you to this.

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